The Retrospector

Something I’ve noticed when people are sent into a room or conversation with an executive is that they’ll lock up or freeze. Some kind of nervousness takes over being around someone with the ability to declare your position unnecessary.

Today I’ve decided to reflect on why people do this, and what I’ve learned to avoid looking like a total idiot.

Understanding the fear

Here’s the reasons I think people naturally fear superiors:

1. They wonder if they’re unnecessary and don’t want the executive to wonder the same thing.
2. They know they’re unnecessary and don’t want the executive to think so too.
3. They’re just afraid they’ll say the wrong thing and leave a horrible impression.

My response to such thoughts? Relax, they’re just doing their job. If you’re worthless, they’ll find out eventually anyway. If you don’t have something of value to show, what are you doing talking to an executive anyway?

How to overcome the fear

Realizations you must make:

1. They don’t see much beyond the end result or bottom line of their objectives. If you aren’t a contributor to either, talking to the executive is probably the least of your worries.
2. They rely almost as much on how you tell them as they do on what you tell them. If you look pale and sweaty when you’re trying to convince them to buy into your initiative while completely out of breath…do you really think they’ll have complete confidence in you?
3. They can smell BS far before you finish your conversation with them, and since you’re being honest (see actions below) you have nothing to fear.

Actions you need to take:

1. Think from their perspective while talking to them. How does each comment you make affect their objectives? How will it affect the bottom line? Relate your purpose or objectives to theirs.
2. Be confident. Talk to them almost as candid as you do to a peer or subordinate, but keep the conversation focused on their interests.
3. Be honest. If you don’t know what you’re talking about…you didn’t do your homework and deserve to look dumbfounded. If you lie about it, you deserve to look like a complete idiot. Just tell it like it is, but only tell them what’s necessary. Don’t drown them in the mundane details of how it was almost a failure and you squeaked by with a last minute save. Paraphrase with “it’s a successful effort” or “we’re wrapping things up today”.

I’ve been working with and reporting to executive-level folks for the last 8 years, and I promise you I’ve seen plenty of people look like complete idiots (including myself) because they just didn’t understand what to watch out for or how to react in a meeting or conversation.

Nothing will prepare you more for such an event as just experiencing it for yourself, but a little hindsight from someone else can go a long way.

What tips can you provide for others still caught in the nervousness of a nearby executive?

   

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